Ah, holidays… this word alone brings calm, excitement and a sense of presence. Most of us have had the opportunity to go on one, whether it be local or overseas. When you are fortunate enough to have a great holiday, you think “I got to do this again, exactly the same way because it was just awesome”. Hence you begin scripting your next holiday, possibly to the same place with the same people because you will get the same outcome! Possibly yes but most likely not.
Let’s go back to when I first went to Bali on my own. What an amazing experience it was. Three years later, I went again with close friends and their families. Again, amazing and yet better than my last trip. I thought to myself, I wish I can do this every year, same place with the same friends and sure enough, produce the same outcome.
When we did catch up, I’d always suggest we must go again. “Yes, we should”, they enthusiastically replied. “Excellent” was my answer but with trepidation. It so happens that we didn’t go away together again and probably not any time soon. Their circumstances have changed (kids, jobs, budgets, etc). Life has moved on. Hence, for the time being (probably years, if ever), our much-awaited holiday reunion will not happen. I’m gutted!!
So why am I wanting to relive a previous holiday? There are many reasons but for me it was wanting to re-experience the freedom without distractions and create bonds with the people I love most. It’s like that didn’t exist back home! Also, the unknown of experiencing something totally different than my expectation just frightens me.
Any logical person knows this thought process is limiting and these expectations we set are possibly doomed! But we are more than just logical beings. I know I need to change this thought because it does create anxiety. So here was my solution. “Stuff it” I said. That’s it. ‘Stuff it’.
“I’m going to Bali again on my own and if you want to come great, otherwise I am good to go.”
Not exactly philosopher’s words but it will do.
Letting go of any expectations was going to be my baseline for this trip and I wanted to see what comes of it. A little experiment, I guess!
My experience on that particular trip was great. Actually, it did really exceed my expectations. My openness allowed me to meet great and beautiful people and more importantly learn things about myself that surprised me and set a foundation for me.
Knowing that I will experience something new and exciting on any trip is all I need to know. That in itself will allow me to fully experience living in the present and savour every moment. Hence, gone are the days of wanting to script and relive my next adventure to be like my last.
Here is an analogy I sometimes use
You want to bottle every great experience you have and then release that experience from that bottle at every opportunity.
The problem is, everything outside the bottle continues to change and evolve. Hence, when you open that bottle, what comes out may not fit with the changing world around it. Hence, synergy between the two worlds is lost and what you expected is no longer the case.
A different approach would be to keep that bottle and create new bottles on each adventure. That way, what you have is a historical time piece of your holiday adventures safely secured where nothing can change that. For me, each new bottle created has some aspects of the last and this in itself is how holidays are relived 🙂