So, my friend Zoe*, signed me up for it. Yes, speed dating. Great, I’ve never done this before and I am open to meeting new people (not that I don’t have enough family and friends already!). I’m excited and yet apprehensive. Then Zoe reluctantly informs me what the age range for both men and women is, to which I replied “f@#k, you’ve got to be kidding! I’m too old for this”. “Don’t worry,” she said, “they never get enough men to these events anyway, so they’ll beg you to come along”. Fine!
Fast forward a month to the actual day. I arrived too early as Melbourne traffic was kind to me that day. Crap, I’m going to have to kill 45 minutes. I’m sure there was another woman in the car besides me doing the same thing. Perhaps we could strike up a conversation through our car window (Grease style!), skip 2 hours and 15 dates then finally drive away into the sunset…hmm!
Anyway, I finally meet the event organisers at the venue where they kindly ask for Id. Security check or are they going calculate my age? Yep, their minds were counting…43, 44… Yeah fine, he’s made an effort to come here, so we’ll spare him the humiliation!
Let the fun begin…scanning, scanning and sure enough, blokes in one corner and ladies in another. I see this all the time at my Lebanese gatherings. Nature at its finest! Anyway, everyone is now scoping the room, but more importantly, the opposite sex. I’m sure there were some happy customers and not so happy. Just my gut instinct!
Date after date in a rotating fashion, 5 minutes per date. Methodical yet intense and mentally draining. Fun at times and also hard work depending on chemistry.
By the way, Zoe was the last person to turn up to the event, but I’ll have to admit, she did look lovely and ready to meet a lucky man. We did touch base throughout the night, me being more impressed than she was on how things were going. We did have a laugh about it though.
I thought I did ok overall and put down a few matches on my score card. Now we wait…
Two matches, one was from Zoe because we both put down “Friend”. How awkward otherwise! The other was a “Friend” match too. I was disappointed. So much effort for so little reward. No second dates.
Where I thought there was fun banter with some women amounted to nothing. Why! What were they looking for?
Expectations, expectations, expectations!! I felt like the women at this event had high expectations and were terribly let down. Perhaps the men did too. Again, it’s just my gut instinct. Yes, it’s brave for us to put ourselves out there, but I also believe in this situation, you have to be fairly open minded.
Can you really form a life-long connection in 5 minutes at an event surrounded by nervous energy and high expectations? F@#k no, I say. I personally take something small from the first encounter (whether it be from online dating or this event) and build from there. This gives me enough to pursue a second date. This way, you get to iron out any first date nerves and who know, start to possibly form a life-long connection.
Look, there were lovely women there with their intentions in the right place. I get we have check boxes to tick and perhaps some of us want to be swept off our feet. All nice things to strive for in the dating world. But I believe there is confusion between seeking our life-partner and seeking the perfect partner. In the world of instant gratification, it seems perfection is what we are looking for without a second thought to what may be!
The speed dating process, I thought, would do away with that. Unfortunately, all the problems created by the likes of Tinder and Bumble amongst many others, has now spilled into the speed dating scene.
It has made dating and us a disposable commodity where there is always something better around the corner!
Regardless of this experience, I am grateful that I was able to meet real people as opposed to using online dating tools. Anyway, it took me a day to get over it and now I move onto other parts of my life that makes me happy 😊.
*Zoe – not her real name.