The end is coming for those apartments that have amazing views of my ‘private’ balcony from their living room and possibly their bedroom. Yes, I want to move plus I’m looking for a new job too! So, I start the process of looking online trying to find my perfect new home. Questionably, the trick photography used to create the illusion of huge rooms, not to mention the amazing natural light, is Copperfield like! Now, back to moving, to which the very thought makes me anxious. It’s a big change in my life, similar to starting a new job or relationship and even ending one! Change sucks!
We live in a constantly changing world. However, this doesn’t mean I like change, especially when it affects me. But I understand it’s there and always will be. There is a saying, “the only constant in life is change”- Heraclitus. Knowing this, we still resist it and sure enough, it does cause us emotional stress. Perhaps, drawn out longer than we want. However, we push through it and yet we somehow accept the anxiety that comes with it. This shouldn’t make sense but we keep repeating this cycle. What if there was a better way to manage this, wouldn’t you want to know?
Change is coming!
I am excited to move to a nicer and bigger place but just thinking about the things that need to be done in the lead up is overwhelming. Even before starting a new job, I struggle with the new things I might encounter. The people, the work and the change in routine, even as simple as breakfast and how I get to work. I know this might seem trivial to some, but for some reason, my mind overthinks these scenarios. In fact, to the point where I simply say, what have I got myself into!
My mind goes into overdrive whether it be leading up, during or even after the change. It’s mostly irrational where the uncertainty brings on fear and anxiety. I can’t explain why this happens, but perhaps it’s a mix of hereditary and our upbringing. A coping mechanism that most likely was never learnt. Either way, I needed to learn a better way.
Think your way through it
There are positive aspects of change we need to find and focus our attention on. What I mean is, we must think about and focus on the good things the change will bring. Like, I will be in a bigger place with awesome views (not into others apartments) and great access to cafes and parks. In the case of a new job, I will meet new people, learn new skills and go to awesome Christmas parties!
This creates a sense of excitement and optimism. Let’s at least savour that moment and hold onto it. I keep repeating until truly believing it and it starts to feel real. This way I am enforcing a positive experience to the upcoming change.
Don’t think anymore
Surely it cannot be all positive! Unfortunately, it isn’t. There are negative aspects of change that we need to address. The kind where I question myself such as, did I make the right choice, will my life be better off and is it worth the effort? Also, what happens after I move into a new place or get my new job?
Well sure enough, I found a place and moved in. A sense of relief but also an unfamiliarity I am not comfortable with. I am immersed into a new environment and it becomes an overload on the senses while trying to process everything. It’s overwhelming and again I become anxious.
This is where I need to stop thinking! For this reason, I bring my mind to the present with a couple of deep slow breaths. In addition, be patient, give yourself the permission to not have to do anything right now and switch off your thinking. Easier said than done! Good news is that it can be done and it’s actually simpler than you think.
Something we can all do
Distraction, yep, something we are all probably good at doing. However, some forms are better than others. The purpose is to bring your mind to the present and stop your mind overthinking. At this moment, you are living in the present, hence, stress and anxiety don’t exist in this state. It’s a circuit breaker that you need, even if it’s temporary. Eventually, the anxiety does go and a sense of calm is reached, even for a brief moment. Sit with that moment and appreciate that moment. That’s all you need for now.
I will usually watch a tv show, go for a walk or go to my local café on my own. Also, writing. Just grab a pen and paper and write whatever you feel like writing. It doesn’t have to make sense and it can just be a one off. The surprising effects of this cannot be underestimated.
You see, changes in your life can overwhelm you which means your brain is racing constantly. So, it’s about switching your brain off momentarily that will ease your transition. Hopefully, these ideas can help as there is no right or wrong in the distraction method you use. More importantly, it’s about finding what works best for you.
Time to accept and grow
Yes, change will inevitably cause us some stress and anxiety but it’s about limiting the duration of these uncomfortable feelings. Distractions is one method I use to ease the effect of change on my life. Those brief moments of calm grow into longer moments which eventually instils confidence within us.
So now, more often than not, I try to accept change because ultimately it does create new and exciting opportunities in my life. More importantly, it allows for growth and builds resilience within me. This then flows into all areas of my life. I’ve often heard the mantra of ‘Nothing is Forever’. So, have patience and trust yourself as you will be surprised how well you can cope with change.